I want to live a life where I am constantly connected to my purpose, my “why”. While it might not seem realistic to be eternally inspired, I want to at least create a life where there is an open invitation to connect, when disconnected. I believe this is what self-care ultimately is. It’s putting up boundaries to the world and saying, “I will take a time-out to reboot my mind”. Part of the work is for us to learn what rebooting looks like, what our purpose is.
I also want to live a life where I am constantly connected to others. That no matter how I feel, I not only show up, but I participate open-heartedly. I even want to take that a step further, and be of service. And while a part of me uses service as a way to make amends for my past transgressions, and where I still have to learn some boundaries, I want to evolve this into giving even more selflessly.
I have fallen into the trap of the mind that says life should be easy, or that I should have abundance. And while I do believe these principles to be true, what easy and abundant look like today are vastly different from a year ago. For me today, easy looks like keeping a calm and focused mind, and abundance looks like opportunities, not things.
I am the happiest when I am in my “why”. This “why” is sacred now, it is something that I develop an intimate relationship with, by spending time with it each day, cultivating it, mediating on it. The “why” is between us and God. Even in coaching, I’m trained to not ask people “why”; for me, this shows how unique this word is.
Because I have learned how to connect with my purpose, I can feel satisfied even in the most humble situations. Even in talking with just a couple of friends, speaking from the heart, discussing change and healing, I feel the magic now. I feel a sense of power that makes me believe we can change the world.
The conversation has shifted. The pandemic has opened a lot of people up to topics that might have once been considered shameful. Strangely enough, it’s only in talking about the shame that we release it and get free from it. Little pockets are popping up, all over the world. In a time of lockdown people are unifying and consolidating, revisiting and revising, all in the name of connection, and the recovery of an innocence that we let go of when we started moving too fast.
One of the first things I did when I wanted to reclaim my connection was slow down. I slowed down on the road, which basically means I went the actual speed limit. That was a bit of a scary change, because I annoyed fellow drivers, and I felt the pressure. But I learned how to stick in my lane and hold my own. That simple act of slowing down made me feel like I had some control over my day. It’s actually quite meaningful to take extra time to get from one place to the other.
Then I extended that slowing down. I didn’t try to go ahead of pedestrians on the road when they were crossing. I gave them time to cross safely on their own time. Then when I was on foot myself, I let people go ahead of me where there was a near collision in the plazas and stores. This, I think, is a great way to begin to slow down, and connect with our purpose. We are literally training the brain to take it easy, and not only that, we are showing it that we will not be missing out on anything, or more importantly losing anything, when we show little acts of connection by offering some time.
Taking it to another level, this is how we can truly connect with our “why”. When we see that it is safe to slow down, we can then extend that kindness to ourselves. The act of self-love that we demonstrate when we take a moment to reboot in an act of self-care is nourishment for our souls; it’s fuel to keep showing up open-heartedly, and in that as a satisfied and abundant person.