I have started a new routine this week, where I wake up early enough to meditate before work. I recognized that hitting snooze, while pleasant, is not adding any restorative rest, and therefore I can spend that time healing in a different way.
In my time alone with perfect posture and my higher power, it was revealed to me that I needlessly worry. In my coaching program, we learned about a phenomenon called negativity bias. This is the biological instinct to look for danger. In one way, it kept us safe when we lived more as hunters and gatherers, but in the current societies that we live in, it’s not as needed. With the work I’ve done around trauma, I understand this as no longer really needing this coping mechanism but still applying it, whereby the outcome becomes distorted the same way an addiction might originally have helped a person manage pain and fear, but then morphs into repetitive and destructive habits.
I feel very comfortable worrying. I realized the past couple of days as I navigated back-to-work anxieties that I take it past what it is appropriate, and it becomes all-encompassing and antagonistic. I have now realized that while worrying has its place – signalling that something needs attention – it is not meant to linger. I now truly can comprehend what Jesus meant when he said “Do not worry.”
I have a responsibility to listen to myself when something is bothering me, but now I recognize that there is a world of difference between being alerted to a potential problem that needs to be solved, and obsessively mulling over a fearful thought or anticipation. I am committed to expect goodness moving forward, because I live my life within the principles of my higher power, and I ensure I do the next right thing day in and day out. Therefore, I just put one foot in front of the other, let myself off the hook of perfectionism, and do my best to do unto others, as I would like done for me. When I can put my worrying into perspective with this simplicity, it becomes a lot more manageable to live within the Spirit of faith than of fear.